Professor H Talhoffer

Talhoffer is able to somehow change between two physical appearances. Sometimes, she is a tall buxom woman with long legs, strong arms, a beautiful face and a bastard sword across her back. Other times, he is an average height man, with a well muscled body, attractive features and a bastard sword across his back.
He/she is able to change between these at will, though seems to have no other form as yet. What the Professor lacks in people skills, he/she makes up for in being stunningly attractive to all but asexuals (or those who prefer non-humanoid company) and being able to kill most people without a thought.
It is unclear what manner of undead Talhoffer is, but his/her past seems to include a very violent death.
The Professor is fairly reticent, prefering not to mingle with people for too long when simply killing them would solve any problems that could otherwise be solved by dialogue. Exactly how he/she ended up in the Neutral Territory is, therefore, a complete mystery… Even to Talhoffer himself/herself.
Whilst completely incapable of magic, Talhoffer is well versed in the scientific arts. The title of professor was bestowed for zontanecrological achievement, however Talhoffer also holds doctorates in Chemistry and Practical Theoretical Pan-Inter-Dimensionless Physics. This gives him/her an extraordinary ability to manipulate the surroundings using purely scientific methods.
Optional Random Information:
No one, except possibly the Professor, knows what the H. stands for.
Also, Talhoffer feels an indescribable, but very strong, need to get revenge on the universe. It is as though he/she were being controlled by an unknowable being who wishes to unpick the world as his worlds, in turn, have been unpicked.

After a few minor teleport-related disasters and a little bit of accidental treason, Talhoffer headed away from the fused carcass of a freight ship onto which the Professor and several tons of recently boiled seamonster landed rather forcefully…
For company, the Professor has found the friendship (or at least mutual strandedness) of a dwarf by the name of Wotri Graves, a pun which bodes ill for their journey. They met first with a strange, ethereal woman who seemed to sail an oddly dimensionless vessel. After a brief and confusing encounter with her, the party of two headed for a rock, onto which Xylia landed rather forcefully.
Since a constant rain of sh*t landing on Talhoffer seems to be a rappidly developing theme, it was inevitable therefore that the next thing to come along (under the guise of "rescue") would be the infamously Diverse pirate ship, The Multicultural Milly. Mere minutes after the new, expanded party boarded this particular vessel, the new additions were brutally, psychically and (above all) unintentionally murdered.
Now, Talhoffer is attempting to upgrade the Milly as she comes under attack from the strange woman once more…

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