Characters: Lu Tze

Full Name: Lu Tze, aka 'Sweeper'
Game: Dungeon Dimensions and Dragons
Played By: Calum
Vilainy Status: Hero
Kill Count: 0
Death Count: 2

Taken directly from Discworld. Apparently based on unnoticed cleaning staff worldwide. An example of the 'Grand Master Mentor' stock character, the most famous example of which is Jedi Master Yoda. Name is possibly a pun on 'lousy'. In curling, the sweeper is not allowed to interfere with the path of the stone but can nevertheless influence how far it gets - a bit like Lu Tze with time.

An over-800-year-old History Monk from the Oi Dong monastery and long-time friend of the Abbot, Lu Tze, while probably the best monk in the business, never rose above the rank of floor-sweeper. Nevertheless, his notable feats pre-game involved helping prevent unncessary death in the Omnian/Ephebian wars, preventing history from being ripped apart when John Keel died before his time, and helping to get time started again after the Auditors stopped it, taking out the Auditor's then-leader in the process.

He was most definitely not, I repeat, not sent to Ankh-Morpork by the Abbot to certainly-not investigate the Auditor's latest meddling with time and completely fail to even attempt to fix the situation. The course of this non-fixing of the situation involved beating up Blind Io; travelling to Quirm to speak with Susan Sto Helit; having a conversation with a skeletal rat; ascending to Dunmanifestin via an elevator built by Leonard of Quirm; knocking out the Goddess of Order and acquiring some gaseous narrativium from her unconscious form; and discovering some very disturbing facts about Auditors. Is the only individual on Discworld yet unaffected by the Coma Sickness.

Cured the people of the Coma Sickness by standing their pieces up on the gameboard of the gods (go figure) and also brought Vetinari to him to talk (accidently killing Lord McSweeney in the process). He learned that the Auditors who had been in the field had been affected by the Sickness, but those left were planning to unleash the Sickness on all other universes. Was also told that this was "not the Auditor's war", although no more information on this subject was given. Upon returning to Ankh-Morpork by home-made glider, he discovered that the people of the Disc were inexplicably forming circles, each circle containing one of those warriors that the Auditors had brought back from the dead. It also transpired that the portal by which these warriors had been ressurected was now gone, replaced by a glowing line which Lu Tze cut, just to see what would happen.

Soon afterwards he was informed by the Abbot that the Procrastinators were acting oddly, and he returned to the monastery to switch them off. He then went in search of the man supposedly in charge of said Procrastinators and, although he failed to find said man, he did find a bunch of shadowy forms of people from other universes and a machine for setting the universe to self-destruct. After arguing with the shadows, he eventually activated the machine to prevent the Coma Sickness spreading. On his subsequent return to the monastary, it appeared that the Procrastinators were what was linking this universe to all the others and, in an attempt to sever this connection and contain the sickness, he arranged for Qu to destroy them, sending the explosion back in time to before the Disc entered that part of the universe. He also ordered for the self-destruct machine to be set into a recursive time-loop to delay the destruction, and headed back to Dunmanifestin to move everybody a safe distance from the Procrastinators using the gameboard.

Apparently, something went wrong and the Procrastinator explosion wasn't shifted, killing an unidentified number of people. Lu Tze, eventually with the help of accidental dimensional-traveler Jenny, travelled to the location of Oi Dong (said location having been raised into the air and filled with life energies… somehow) and managed to reboot the universe with an inexplicably-present computer and some Rule of Funny trickery. This action essentially erased the DD&D universe from existence, along with several Auditors Of Reality, restoring the real Discworld.

Personality and Traits:
Dislikes violence, but can if necessary kick the proverbial and literal backside of the Disc's greatest fighters with his knowledge of Deja-fu. Also knows how to save his life up til a certain point and return to that point upon death, just like a yeti (or, for that matter, a video game character). Appears to be a small, bald, wrinkly, non-dangerous old man, which he has learnt to use to his advantage. Hence the common phrase: Remember Rule One!

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